Nobody Talks About the Lonely Side of Picking Up Mahjong as an Adult

Learning a game later in life is vulnerable. Here is the part nobody names.

We talk about mahjong as connection. The table, the friends, the standing game night, the laughter. All of that is real, and it is the best part.

But there is a quieter stretch that comes first, and almost nobody names it. The beginning can be lonely. If you have felt that, you are not doing it wrong. You are just in the part of the story that does not make the highlight reel.

The part nobody puts on the highlight reel

The photos are always the joyful version. Four friends who already know the game, mid-laugh, tiles clicking. What you do not see is the woman watching that table thinking she would love to be there, if only she understood what was happening. Or the one who got invited once, felt completely lost, and quietly never went back.

That gap, between wanting to belong at the table and feeling ready to sit down at it, is real. And sitting in it by yourself is the lonely part nobody warns you about.

Why learning a game later in life feels so vulnerable

By the time we are adults, we are used to being competent. We are the ones who know how things work, who help other people, who have it handled. Then you pick up a brand new game, and suddenly you are the slowest one in the room, asking questions you are sure are obvious.

That is uncomfortable in a way it simply was not when we were kids. Being a beginner as a grown woman asks you to be openly, visibly new at something. It is a kind of brave we do not give ourselves nearly enough credit for.

You are not behind, you are new

I want to gently retire the word behind. Behind implies there is a pace you were supposed to keep, and you missed it. There is no such pace. There is only new, and new is temporary.

Every confident player at every table you admire was, at some point, exactly where you are. Holding tiles she did not understand, hoping nobody noticed. The only difference between her and you is a little time and a few more hands. That is genuinely it.

How to find your table

The loneliness lifts the moment you realize how many women are quietly in it with you. So find them on purpose. A beginner class where everyone is equally new. An online group where no question is too small. A standing date with one friend who is also learning, even if you are both a little lost together. Lost together is its own kind of fun.

That is honestly why I started sharing this game at all. I learned it feeling like the only beginner in the world, and then I found out there were tens of thousands of us. We were just all sitting alone in our own kitchens, thinking everyone else already knew. You were never the only one. You just had not found the rest of us yet.

Want company that lasts beyond one post? That is exactly what the Confidence Club is, a community of women learning mahjong together, no judgment, for $19.99 a month.

Come see the Confidence Club.

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Lara